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The Ultimate 5-Step Guide on How to Deal with Your Ex at Your Wedding or Event

  • , by Butter Be Mine
  • 3 min reading time

Event planner or personal security experts can assist in making a contingency plan that may involve an effective way of confining your ex or having them removed from the party altogether. While this is a last-ditch strategy, it’s essential to know your rights and remind your ex of theirs as you plan to enjoy your wedding/event.

As an event planner, it isn't uncommon to encounter a unique level of complexity when dealing with guests who have a history together. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with former couples who have to attend the same events. While this can be a tricky situation to navigate, it’s essential to ensure that you keep the peace and make the entire event or wedding day as stress-free as possible. In this blog post, we’ll share some helpful tips on how to deal with your ex at your wedding or event.

5 step summary (read below for the details)

  1. Communication
  2. Seating arrangements
  3. Planning
  4. Keep the event short
  5. Have a security plan in place

 

Communication is Key
Before the event, communicate with both parties to assure them that their presence is valued and necessary for the success of the event. Even if the past was rough, it's essential to treat your ex as any other regular guest. Arrange to meet beforehand and discuss your expectations of the day. Reassure them of their role and what they're looking forward to achieving. When you're upfront from the beginning, you take uncertainty out of the mix. It let's your ex know what to expect, minimizes drama, and reduces any tension that might arise.

Assign Seating Arrangements
Assigning seating arrangements plays a significant role in avoiding awkward encounters and keeping the peace throughout the celebration. Consider placing guests strategically with enough space between tables and always keep your ex's table separate from their former partner - they don't have to sit beside each other. Make sure to have a trusted ally as a backup in case things go south. Arming yourself with a coordinating assistant ensures that everything runs smoothly without any hiccups.



Plan Enough Distractions
Disrupting the flow can get your guests focused on something else and less concerned about each other. Prepare exciting activities that people can participate in; it could be games, singing, or anything that could sweep the attention away from your ex. In this way, you can easily control the environment and keep your party lively and unpredictable.

Keep the Event Short
No one wants to stay in one place longer than they have to, so the best way to keep this complicated situation under control is to keep the event short. Notify your guests that the wedding or event will not last longer than four hours. In these shorter events, it's hard to build up tension as people shift their attention away from negative energy, and focus on making memories for the short time provided. By the end, despite any history, people are more amicable- smiling and laughing, forgetting about their ex and having a great time.

Have a Security Plan in Place
Although it's a last resort strategy, it's recommended that you have a security plan in case things get out of hand. Event planner or personal security experts can assist in making a contingency plan that may involve an effective way of confining your ex or having them removed from the party altogether. While this is a last-ditch strategy, it’s essential to know your rights and remind your ex of theirs as you plan to enjoy your wedding/event.


Planning an event where your ex will be present can be a challenge. However, by following the tips above, you can make sure that the event runs smoothly with minimal drama. As an event planner, it's our responsibility to prepare and find workable solutions to all potential situations, even those most uncomfortable, and this theme is no different. Remember always to keep an open mind, communicate effectively and have a contingency plan, so everyone can have a beautiful, memorable time. With this guide, you'll have everything you need to handle this unique event challenge successfully.

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